1. Ridicule any colleague who speaks in English in an informal setting. English speaking is a disease.
2. If a guy is very passionate and enthusiastic, call him Peter. If the passionate guy volunteers for stuff, behave even nastier and run miles away. Passion is infectious you see, you shouldn’t catch it.
3. Cover your social deficiencies by quoting one of the gross jokes from a Tamil movie. And then bask in the laughter it evokes – that’s as far you go in socializing.
4. If a guy is popular with women, it is because he was over-flowing (read in Tamil). Speak cheaply about him when you’re actually desperately jealous about him. Don't ever misunderstand that women like him because he respects them and treats them with courtesy. Extra points for posting nasty stuff about him on FB - especially when he 'likes' a gal's pic or the vice versa.
5. Missed promotion? Bad hike? Cha, not your fault. Romp around claiming that the girl was promoted because the manager had a thing for her. And the other guy got a promotion coz he did *** ****ing or because of his Peter. Peter is not his boyfriend - refer point 2.
6. Notice how the girls at work do not look like Aishwarya Rai or Trisha? Wonder why Murphy always favours you - all girls but the ones at your workplace are beautiful? By the way, it doesn't matter that you are badly dressed/pot bellied/below average/ less-than-guy-next-door personality. You are doing a favour to the girls when you ridicule them for being fat or short or being well endowed/not. Better still rate/rank the girls and nick name them after a vulgar porn star. And top it by claiming ' women cannot take jokes' when she takes offense at this.
7. When a pretty gal pays you some attention finally (she probably thinks its charity), despite all your cheap antics, call her a "slut" for wanting to talk to you.
8. If a girl stands up for herself when troubled/teased/harassed at workplace (check Remember sister..), tell her 'why this kolaveri?'. Tease her for all the fuss about something 'normal'.
So what else makes a person the office jerk?
Write in ladies!
Apologies to non-Chennaites. Seems like these are unique traits of Tamil men. Hence you may not be able to comprehend some of these..
Showing posts with label workplace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label workplace. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Remember sister..
To all my female colleagues - past and present.
We work/have worked with a company that values women as equal to men.
Still, those occasional weird things happen and some rotten idiots ruin our happiness at work.
A few words from me to each of you beautiful women..
------------------------------------------------
Remember sister..
If a colleague stares at you all day,
Or if he cannot look at your face when he talks to you,
if he thinks your chest is your face,
Remember sister, it is not normal, and you did not invite it.
If he pings you on chat for no reason,
and if he refuses to speak to you in person,
and always insists on talking on the sly,
Remember sister, it is not normal, and you did not invite it.
if he insists that he just wants to be your friend,
or if he cannot take your rejection gracefully,
If he demands you like him back,
Remember sister, it is not normal, and you did not invite it.
Or if your boss criticizes your work for no reason,
If he gives you the work that everyone rejects,
if he claims girls are good only at documenting,
Remember sister, it is not normal, and you did not invite it.
If you are smart, be openly so,
You don’t have to be nice to jerks, just to be accepted,
Hold your head high and be yourself
because sister, those who expect otherwise are not worth your time.
It is not because you very outgoing, warm and smiley,
it is not because of your fashionable clothes,
that those jerks think you are 'loose',
It is not your fault sister, it is his perverted mind.
Don't feel bad, don’t feel sad,
Don't think you could have dressed or spoken differently,
Don't think you were too nice or not nice enough,
It wasn't you sister, you did not ask for it.
Don’t bend sister, and don’t ever break,
Don’t run away, don’t just ignore it,
Stand up and say your NO out loud,
For your silence only empowers him.
Remember sister, it is NOT NORMAL, and you did not invite it.
------------------------------------------------
(Its not meant to be a poem exactly.. just my angry ramblings.. written spontaneously.)
And to my friends and cousins, who panic with each post of mine and call me to check if I am ok: relax. None of this happened to me! Guess i don't seem so vulnerable or because Gopi and I have always worked in the same company :-D
We work/have worked with a company that values women as equal to men.
Still, those occasional weird things happen and some rotten idiots ruin our happiness at work.
A few words from me to each of you beautiful women..
------------------------------------------------
Remember sister..
If a colleague stares at you all day,
Or if he cannot look at your face when he talks to you,
if he thinks your chest is your face,
Remember sister, it is not normal, and you did not invite it.
If he pings you on chat for no reason,
and if he refuses to speak to you in person,
and always insists on talking on the sly,
Remember sister, it is not normal, and you did not invite it.
if he insists that he just wants to be your friend,
or if he cannot take your rejection gracefully,
If he demands you like him back,
Remember sister, it is not normal, and you did not invite it.
Or if your boss criticizes your work for no reason,
If he gives you the work that everyone rejects,
if he claims girls are good only at documenting,
Remember sister, it is not normal, and you did not invite it.
If you are smart, be openly so,
You don’t have to be nice to jerks, just to be accepted,
Hold your head high and be yourself
because sister, those who expect otherwise are not worth your time.
It is not because you very outgoing, warm and smiley,
it is not because of your fashionable clothes,
that those jerks think you are 'loose',
It is not your fault sister, it is his perverted mind.
Don't feel bad, don’t feel sad,
Don't think you could have dressed or spoken differently,
Don't think you were too nice or not nice enough,
It wasn't you sister, you did not ask for it.
Don’t bend sister, and don’t ever break,
Don’t run away, don’t just ignore it,
Stand up and say your NO out loud,
For your silence only empowers him.
Remember sister, it is NOT NORMAL, and you did not invite it.
------------------------------------------------
(Its not meant to be a poem exactly.. just my angry ramblings.. written spontaneously.)
And to my friends and cousins, who panic with each post of mine and call me to check if I am ok: relax. None of this happened to me! Guess i don't seem so vulnerable or because Gopi and I have always worked in the same company :-D
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